What's happening?

I don't know what's happening or even why did so much things happen this year?

Firstly, heart broken by a friend and never have i take so long to move on. I'm still trying my best not to feel the sink in my heart whenever i see this person around.

Secondly, diagnosed myself with a tumor is something that i have never imagined. No people of around my age has thing like this, why am i the one? The troubles that i have to go through, like financial, surgery, missing out my usual leisure, unable to work... all these are like nightmare. Dishearten and discourage.. fearful that things could get worsened. Suddenly i begin to ask, how can a small flu, headache, fever, or stomache compare to this. I know many people around me care or some just want to be kpo. People who doesnt know willl keep asking things like 'what happen?', 'are you alright?' ... People who knows will keep asking how am I? Im tired of explaining actually.

Thirdly, i failed one of my module. This is only my first year and first semester, the start of my uni life, and im failing... I have been telling myself to work hard & excel for my uni life, but i end up failing a module. The thought of repeating it next semester, the troubles of needing to go for enrolment session again and the money that i got to pay to retake the module again...

All these troubles that i have put myself into... can life be more simpler?

Right now it feels like on the inside im cuddling myself in one corner crying, yet also self-encouraging myself that everything is gonna be well... and on the outside, im potraying my positive and strong side. I'm still carrying my responsibility, somehow half-heartedly. Is it right?

Im feeling afraid upon hearing that my dad's hand is not well today. not an injury and not knowing the source of the pain. This is scary... The support of my life, please don't be down.

Are all these happening because of me? I have not been doing this certain enough...