BYE 2010, HI 2011.

i guess i gonna start off my post by saying 2010 was not been a great year for me.

There are times that i fell and hurt myself so badly.
There are times that i really doubt myself so much, thinking that im just not good enough.
There are times that my self-esteem went to the lowest.
There are times that i would cry myself to sleep on my bed at night.
There are times that i felt so lonely, no one to pour out my heart to.
There are times that my tears just burst out when i was travelling on trains and buses.
There are times that i would cry when i was on my way walking back home and dry my tears downstair before i stepped into my house.
There are times that i would cry in the toilet when i was bathing.
There are times that i feel so tired that i just wished to sleep for the next 24 hours or never wake up.

Sometimes i did not know what i was being bothered about, it were just all the negtive thoughts came into my mind.
2010 is probably year that i haven't achieved much and i think that it wasn't a fruitful year for me.
I did disappoint many people around me.
My weaknesses that i didn't thought i have for the past 7 years since im saved, all showed up.
All my stubborness, my discipline, my accountability.
That was the first time for the past 7 years, i feel like running away from service and cellgroup.

I felt like i don't want to be at home because no one understands what i want.
I felt like i was always lacking financially.
I doubted a lot on my friendships with my closer friends around me.
I doubted myself, my ability, my talent, how much God have been doing though me.
I stayed in hospital, had surgery, diagnosed with a tumor that was so close to cancerous.
I didn't do well for my exam, out of my expectation.
I felt that i couldn't connect with God.
I felt that i had lost my spiritual life, i was just going through the routine.
I had many cold wars with my mum.

But there are still a few happy things that worth mentioned.
I stepped out and gave my first Bible study to my members. It wasn't a difficult thing, but preaching or teaching is just not my thing. Sometimes when you're really not good at the thing, you just hate doing it.
I led praise & worship in my cellgroup meetings.
My fruits (connect group members) who are so sweet & they had shown their love for me.

Friends that have been staying by my side, helping me through, encouraging me.

Well, all these were the past! I believe for a great year in 2011!!
:))))

I will grow more spiritually!
I will rise up in choir!
I will be more fruitful in my life!
I will have a prosperous soul!
I will be a better connect group leader!
I will be more closer to God!
I will be more closer to my family!
I will Ace for my school results!
I will feel good about myself!
I will have better relationship with my close friends!
I will find my 'best friend'!
.
.
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YES AMEN!
:D