Sunday, February 07, 2010.

seriously, so many events coming up which i am so looking forward!!!

as usual tuesday choir prac! i always look forward to choir prac every week!
pedicure & manicure with my babe blythe!
hopefully a gathering with my close choir friends before CNY! nua at somebody's house or sentosa!
CNY!!! hahahaa all the MOOLAHSSSS, steamboat food & gatherings with my relatives!!!
CNY lunch at justin's house!
BKK with love blythe, ben & nai!!!!! ahhhhh 27 more days!!!! funny combi... i wonder what will happen when we are going stay tgt for 4 days too.... lalala~

so far like that la...

i had been through a year of down-ness last year. i didn't guard my heart properly, attacks from the devil came, many things happen, struggle alot emotionally here and there even i could appear fine on the outside. i also dont know how many times i really prayed up and read the bible last year. probably if i remember, i can use my 2 hands to count. This year, i didnt let it start right also... but i really gotta make a decision this year, that i want to move forward and not stay at where i am! pass this stage of testing in my life, and really move forward! become more spiritually and confident! get on with my goal card! i wanna overcome things that have been holding me back!! :DDDDD wanna SMILE from the inside of my heart!!!!!!

{ 11:31:00 PM }

Tuesday, February 02, 2010.

Woman

God’s greatest creation : The Woman.

When God was creating woman, he was working late on the 6th day.

An angel came by and said, ” Why spend so much time on that one? “


And the Lord answered.

Have you seen all this specifications thats has to meet to shape her?

SHE MUST BE WASHABLE BUT NOT MADE OF PLASTIC,HAVE MORE THAN 200 MOVING PART WHICH ALL MUST BE REPLACEABLE AND SHE MUST FUCTION ON ALL KINDS OF FOOD, SHE MUST BE ABLE TO EMBRACE SEVERAL KIDS AT THE SAME TIME, GIVE A HUG THAT CAN HEALM ANY THING FROM BRUISHED KNEE TO BROKEN HEART AND SHE MUST DO ALL THIS WITH ONLY TWO HANDS.

The angel was impressed : How can she do all this with only 2 hands ans asked,

” Impossible! Is this the standard model? ”

“ Its too much work for today, wait til tmr and then complete her “

” I will not, ” Said the Lord.


” I am closer to complete this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart. “

“SHE CARES HERSELF WHEN SICK AND SHE CAN WORK 18 HOURS A DAY”.

The angel came closer and touch the woman and said,

" BUT YOU HAVE MADE HER SO SOFT LORD. "

" She is soft, " said the Lord.

“BUT I HAVE ALSO MADE HER STONG.YOU CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT SHE CAN ENDURE AND OVER COME.

” Can she think? “
the Angel asked.

THE LORD ANSWERED.

“NOT ONLY CAN SHE THINK,SHE CAREASON AND NEGOTIATE”.

The angel touched the woman’s cheek.
“LORD, IT SEEMS THIS CREATION IS LEAKING! “
“YOU HAVE PUTTED SO MANY BURDEN ON HER”.

“SHE IS NOT LEAKING……..
IT’S A TEAR”
The Lord corrected her.

“WHATS IT FOR ?”
ASKED THE ANGEL.

AND THE LORD SAID.
“TEARS ARE HER WAY OF EXPRESSINGGRIEF, HER DOUBTS,HER LOVE ,HER LONLINESS,HER SUFFERING AND HER PRIDE”.

THIS MADE A BIG IMPERASSION ON THE ANGEL.
“LORD YOU ARE GENIUS”.

“YOU THOUGHT OF EVERY THINGS.THE WOMAN IS INDEED MARVELLOUS!”

INDEED SHE IS!

WOMAN HAS STRENGTHS THAT AMAZES MAN. SHE CAN HANDLE,TROUBLE,AND CARRY HEAVY BURDENS,SHE HOLDS HAPPINESS,LOVE AND OPINIONS.

SHE SMILES,WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE SCREAMING,SHE SINGS WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE CRYING,CRYS WHEN SHE IS HAPPY AND LAUGHS WHEN SHE IS AFRAID.

SHE FIGHTS FOR WHAT SHE BELIVES IN, STANDS UP AGAINST INJUSTICE,SHE DOES NOT TAKE “NO”FOR AN ANSWER,WHEN SHE SEES SOLUTION.SHE GIVE HERSELF SO HER FAMILY CAN THRIVES,SHE TAKES HER FRIENDS TO THE DOCTORS IF SHE AFRAID
HER LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL.

SHE CRIES WHEN HER KID ARE VICTORIUS,SHE IS HAPPY WHE HER FRIENDS DO WELL.SHE GLADS WHEN SHE HEARS OF A BIRTH OR WEDDING.

HER HEART BROKEN WHEN A NEXT OF KIN OR FRIEND DIES BUT SHE FINDS THESTRENGTH TO GET ON WITH LIFE.

SHE KNOWS THAT A KISS AND AHUG CAN HEAL A BROKEN HEART.

{ 1:45:00 PM }

Sunday, January 31, 2010.

I thank God for the opportunity to lead praise for the past few weeks and yesterday one went well. I pray that i will do even better next round and pray for greater anointing even as i lead worship soon. lead your people to love and experience you. i cannot slack anymore! must pray and read your word even more!

:))))

{ 11:04:00 PM }

Monday, January 25, 2010.

How amazing God is! His faithfulness and His love. He's our provider. I really thank Him! There're so many times, He just show miracles in my life in area of finances. This morning my aunt and ask me if i have enough money. seriously i don't really have enough. blessings always just come in on time when i really need it. God always know what we want and need, even sometimes we don't ask.

And times when i feel so down... and do not know what to do about all those situation. He will just turn situations around just like that. when i just really do my best and let God do the rest...

I also thank Him for all the opportunities to lead praise & worship in cgm. The dream of becoming BV and leading p&w. It's good to have this opportunity and start small. Somehow i do feel afraid and think that i am not ready for it. spiritual walk with God hasn't been so good. somehow i feel like pushing this opportunity away. i couldn't believe myself to do it for now, but i will trust God instead. because He's the one that has given it to me. and also like what jovan said yesterday.. leading a praise & worship is really not easy. it's not only about skill, but it involves a lot on our spiritual life. jia you!

Lastly, another good news!!!! My bigger boss extended the work contract of evangeline and i to 30th april for now. safe now! hopefully after that, our contract will be further extended.

I just thank God for everything. every tears and every joy that i have been through. i made a lot of mistakes and i learnt it. Through all these things, i will become better and stronger.

:)

{ 5:53:00 PM }

Friday, January 22, 2010.

life.

-from adora's blog.

there’s a thousand things that your patient can teach you. the irony that we are supposed to help them but when in fact we are the ones getting help.we learn about courage and strength from them. about love and the value of time.the tears that stream right out from your eyes. uncontrollable as you blink hard to make it disappear. lots of feelings are welled up inside. trying to learn and also trying to hide.

when it comes, it rips you all apart. it makes you scared. it makes you double question about your life. “what have I done? Have I done enough? Have I done anything fruitful or satisfying?” I look at it and reflect. what i have been missing, the wrong outlook at life. and this is the reason why i choose to do these things.to watch so to learn and value. to do so to help, to bring joy, to ease their pain. that’s why i want to do it. that’s why i want to watch it. that’s why, that’s why its the reason to everything…well almost everything.

life, every minute is borrowed time…and the future is always changing. and the future is the home to our deepest fears and wildest hopes.

{ 10:23:00 PM }

Wednesday, January 13, 2010.

My Friend

For me,
I need to look no more.
I’ve found a friend in you,
a friend to call my own.
And you know,
you can always count on me.

I cannot gurantee I will rush down and be there in an instant.
But this I can assure you,
my thoughts and heart will be with you.
I’ll be there with you the second I can.
Just give me a ring.

Thanks for hearing all my ramblings,
my grumblings and complains.
When no one else knows it,
when others think I’m strong and confident,
when now you know I’m not really there.
But thank YOU for still being my darling friend!

CC. Blythe

{ 10:51:00 AM }

Tuesday, January 12, 2010.

If you think that i am so useless, don’t care about anything, did nothing good at all…
why did you give birth to me at the first place???
The whole week i try to be better, but yet all I get is still scolding.

Scolding for giving you too little money.
Scolding that i don’t love you and care for you and this family at all.
Scolding that i have not contribute to the family.

and all you do is to blame everyone in the family that no one cares for you.
always ask me to tell you what i think, and when i say all you do is angry.
seriously WTH!

{ 11:56:00 PM }

Just got my pay!!!
YAY!
but after minus-ing all the neccessary payments, givings i need to make...
i will left will a few hundred bucks again which are just enough for me to survive for this month.
how to save sia?
:((((

{ 3:33:00 PM }

Wednesday, January 06, 2010.

After work, my colleagues and i went to play badminton together at our working area. there's a badminton court there.. hehehe! it's been a long time since i last played badminton. Came home sweaty and smelly, so i really went for a good bath. scrub from head to toe... my skin is ultra smooth now.

:DDDDDDD

now doing mask.
weeeee~

{ 9:56:00 PM }

Tuesday, January 05, 2010.

I am crazy to get thisssss!!!!

{ 1:17:00 PM }

Sunday, January 03, 2010.

i just want a place to breathe.
i just want a home that i can rest after a long tired day.
i just want parents who understand.

but every responsibilities, expectations and blames are upon me.
i hate it.

{ 1:48:00 AM }

Saturday, January 02, 2010.

Spending more of my time at Tumblr now instead of here.
:D

{ 10:42:00 AM }

Wednesday, December 30, 2009.

I am really tired of this kind of thing.
you just made a big fuss again. Last year it was like this, this year it's also like this....
always on my birthday.....
it's like COME ON!!!!
ahhhhhhhh!!!!!
you just sound like what.... selfish....

{ 1:37:00 AM }

Wednesday, December 23, 2009.

yesterday was my zone last opm of the year.
i rushed down after caroling prac and the 2nd session was about to end.
i stood there worshipped and then knelt down, feeling hard to push myself into the atmosphere. The presence of God was strong, MJ was already laying hands, many people were weeping.

The last session when we were reminded about our hunger and appetite for the presense og God. Once again we took time to worship... i doesn't really know what i was thinking... God was here and there in my mind, i couldn't really focus. People started having holy laughter... but this is probably the only time i couldn't... neither weeping nor laughing... heart was heavy but yet don't know about what...was it because i was too tired?

I really do hope to end 2009 well and start 2010 better. This year aren't one of the best years i had. instead, i struggled throughout the year... in heart, emotion, spiritually, mind...... nothing bad really happen, but everything was still a struggle and confused over the reason why am i feeling down. No matter what happen, i know i will continue hold on to God even everything is down... receive more and give even more... :D

{ 1:21:00 PM }

Tuesday, December 22, 2009.

Thanksgiving night with SUN!

The thanksgiving night with SUN was really a blast! A time when all the leaders in our church gather together. We started off with a mass dance when everybody just danced like crazy... haha! The long praise and worship was a awesome, the presence of God so strong... It just reminds me of SOT days that when i worshipped, i'm really worshipping... everybody is so excited and hungry for His presence.

All the performance that night were fantastic. I was so touched by the thanksgiving and testimony sessions, this were when tears began to flow in my eyes. Firstly, i want to say that i am so proud of Rovson who was one of the nominees for one of the awards. All the stories and testimonies that were shared on the stage really touched me. when they were in crisis and low period, how they cried... but they pulled through those dark periods.

The whole thanksgiving session was not just to thank our members and the leaders, but SUN. She's really the insipration for everyone of us. The way she loves her friends and the people around her. How she will always call her friends up in the middle of the night to be there for them and cry with them. How she has been such an impact to the china. Despite so much criticisms on both Pst Kong and Sun, they choose to hold on and have faith in what God called them to do.

It's like during times when my faith and passion has failed me. Sometimes i just feel like let go everything that i been holding on for 6 years. but just like what the BV, Serina had shared "you loses the ability to backslide..." In my earlier years, everything was easier and fresh... im beginning to understand that walking with God is really walking the narrow road... not easy... The days when you know God is testing your heart and letting you wander round and round the wilderness... is even more tougher... but i really never want to let go...

We kneeled down and worship God was the last few moments that night. Tears flowed down in our eyes. We sang this song, Hero by Mariah carey. The lyrics really spoke to my heart. God never failed to speak and encourage me that day.

:DDDDDD

{ 2:28:00 PM }