Sunday, November 14, 2010.

I am totally touched & encouraged by what Pst. Kong preached and i really cried buckets. I guess winter season is what I am going through. Discourages after discourages, bad news after bad news, worries after worries...like school tests results & performance on my exam.

Recently, i just received a really bad news. I am really afraid, really so afraid... while everyone is enjoying, i have to accept this, i cried, i am really afraid. My tears even just burst out when i was travelling in the train & in front of my colleagues. But i have been trying to hide my fears when i'm with everyone, especially people whom i have not told. Even those who knew, i just wanna show that i'm alright? It seems like a dream, this can't be happening to me. Somehow self-esteem has get really low. I really come to the extend asking God why, can i not suffer from this? But if it's His will, let it be upon me.

Psalm 3:5, "weeping last for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

Every season will pass. God bring you to this to let you go through something and prepare you for the next season. God will bring me to spring season soon! I believe!! Just got to keep on trusting in Him and not give up.

:)

{ 1:13:00 AM }

Monday, November 08, 2010.

It's just feelings on the inside that somehow it gets down. Some friends that you treasure didnt seem to have you in their heart, in their mind. Friends whom i always treasure, you don't really get a place in their heart. I see the number of encouragements and concerns that i received from the number of people, and i compare mine with the friends who are around me that are getting. Yea, recently i have been comparing myself with my friends. Friends that important to you left you. Even probably i have been busy and my hands got lose holding them, did they really put in the effort to hold me back? How am i in the eyes of others? I want to be more 'I'. I want to be more open to sharing my thoughts, my jokes, my ups & downs. I want to be more open up. Yes, im feeling sad & disappointed because of all these. These are the voice of the devil that makes me feel inadequate. :( Im tired of chasing after people (friendship & relationship), i wish people would chase after me instead.

I got to focus on God and not on people and the world. Because God doesn't disappoint us, but people will. So i really got to focus on Him, focus on His promises. You don't make friends to get popular or see how popular you are, but you are blessed when you have a friend that stands by you through your ups & downs and never leave you.

Hang on to psitive confession!
Got to focus on spiritual stuff!!
:)

{ 12:24:00 AM }