Saturday, May 31, 2008.

So fast... 8 weeks of SOT has gone! This week we had Pst Tan to teach us 2 days on this module, 'Theology'. It's teachings about God Himself and a lot of theology...

Today we had Gifts of The Holy Spirit last lesson, The Gifts of Healing. So at the last 1 1/2 hour of the lesson today, we had practical again! We broke into groups of 7. Pst Ming want us to move in the gifts of healing, specifically to pray for different length leg, back aches, etc... he want us to work on legs, hands, back area.. A lot of 'long short leg' was healed! The people who received healings were like almost 100 people la! Miracles!! eh, not small flu or small headache leh!

One of our team member, when some of our team members all prayed for her for her leg. Her shorter leg began to grow, until it overshot... and then they prayed for the shorter leg to grow and balance. Hallelujah!

:)

{ 12:59:00 AM }

Thursday, May 29, 2008.

I need Spirit of Excellence!

i feel burden for you...
i feel hard to do it...
and i really want breakthrough!

God, please help me to be a better leader!!!

{ 11:49:00 PM }

Tuesday, May 27, 2008.

Matthew 7:3-5
3 "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
4 "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?
5 "Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

God's 2nd commandment is love your neighbour as yourself. We ought to love people, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. Accept them no matter who they are and what they had done. There will be times when they made mistakes or we will get offended by them, but No one is perfect! We should not have a thought against any member in this family of ours, but we should protect the unity of this family. It should be a place of love and acceptance.

{ 11:02:00 PM }

Monday, May 26, 2008.

Last week, the mock cellgroup was great!
It was my first time doing everything.

tuesday: warmth (testimony)
wednesday: word
thursday:worship
friday: offering/vision sharing

It was really my first time and i know i didn't do so well,
especially on the warmth n word.
too nervous...
i really need to practice on my speaking, preaching more...
aiya, everything la!
i really need to have greater confidence in doing all these things.
but my first try eh, not bad la...
:D

Last week was also a tiring week for me.
Reaching home late in the midnight and after that i have to stayed up until 2 to 3am to prepare the things im doing for mock cg for the next day.

Thursday, i reach home probably 12 plus from my adora's grandpa's wake and i still had to prepare things for my cg outreach on the next day.

Friday after SOT, my cg had an outreach, after that we went for adora's grandpa wake, reach home 12 plus.

Saturday, service and fellowship.

Sunday, wake up early in the morning and i went to sentosa to help out other cellgroups for their outreach. Yes, i want to enlarge my capacity to serve God. I desire to breakthrough.

All that i am doing, indeed it's not doing for myself but it's for the kingdom of God.

On friday, when i was travelling back on a bus from the wake. i was so tired so i slept in the bus. In my hands, i was holding on to my 2 handphones. 1 of it dropped when i was sleeping. So when i reached boon lay interchange, i was being wake up by someone and so i quickly took my things and alight the bus. After i alighted, i came back to my sense that why there was only 1 hp on my hand. oh no!! my handphone dropped in the bus!!

so i approached the passenger service at the interchange. However, the staff wasn't willing to help at all just because the bus 180 which i took doesn't belong to them.. it belongs to SMRT. The person told me in a strong tone that the bus doesn't belong to them, he can't do anything. so i was like... ok... so i approached the MRT passenger service.. i explained to them about my phone lost and it was lost on the bus of their company, but they told me that because it was bus so i should ask from the passenger service in the bus interchange. By then i was super annoyed and angry already, especially the staff from the passenger service in bus interchange. Just because the bus is not theirs, then they don't even want to help on anything and most of all the staff was rude. I did approached the staff for few times for help but ....! i almost wanted to scold the staff. Then in the end i went back to the passenger service at mrt control station side and they helped me, take down my details n everything.

So throughout the night when i reached home, i kept calling my phone hoping the bus driver will heard it and pick it up. However, i didn't get any response after many many tries, but my phone still could call through. I was really sad la... and i sms sha. In my heart i just felt so strongly that someone would pick up my phone and return back to me. yeah! The next day i woke up at 6 plus am, feeling no peace... so i began to call my phone again. Lo and behold!! someone answered my phone!!! i was like... PRAISE THE LORD!!! So in that evening, i got back my phone! I didn't lost it...! WeeeeeEeee~


Yeah! today finally back to normal SOT class!
Dr John Sim came to preach.
We were convicted that indeed
GOD IS IN CONTROL IN ALL SITUATIONS!
At the end of class, we did practical again.
we formed in group of 3,
and we take turn to speak word of wisdom and knowledge, and lay hands on one another.
:))

PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!
READ BIBLE!
DO ASSIGNMENT!

{ 6:34:00 PM }

Tuesday, May 20, 2008.

it's a tiring day...
yet great!
i woke up at 8am to write my sermon.
thank God for ideas to write,
but i haven't preach to anyone yet.

My cg had prayer meeting with chloe cg at 1.30pm,
fellowship until 5 plus pm after prayer meeting.

Then met my SOT team mates at 6 plus pm.
Suppose to meet them to practice mock cg,
but when i reach, they ended their practice already.
So we went to eat dinner together.

After dinner, i went to meet weiping, zhihao, joshua, gen, jing xian and vanessa.
we had a crazy n funny truth or dare and camwhore session outside the supreme court there.
didn't meet them for quite many many weeks already,
so finally got to meet them today!
:DD

{ 1:10:00 AM }

Sunday, May 18, 2008.

There's a prayer meeting,
later 7am @ JW church.
I am so dead!
2.22am and i am still awake.
when I have to wake up at 6am or earlier.

:O

{ 2:20:00 AM }

Saturday, May 17, 2008.

No one is perfect.

Fri - It started out to be good and it did not end so well. we had a great last E369 cellgroup meeting together before merging in the night. but that afternoon i lost my whole file which i use for SOT. Nothing really important inside except my SOT ministry practicum form. it need to be handed in on coming tuesday. if i lost it, i will be in a very troublesome time for me. i would need to print out my form, fill in my ministry hours, get annabel to sign within these few days. So that night, i was so troubled...

Sat - In the morning, i was rushing to design flyer to send to chloe and shalynne. So after i did finish in the early afternoon, sha asked me to print it. but then i when i go try printing it, no ink! Somemore in the morning, my mum kept scolding and nagging at me... i got scolded by sha for not telling her earlier that my printer no ink... and she need to give it out to the members by today. I was crying out to God.. how?? why like that?? why am i not wise enough just to do simple things right. For the moment, i really felt like crying for all the things that didn't go well when i was outside after all these happened.

thinking of what Pst ming shared. He started out his day great, a lot of miracles happened in his cgm, he felt great in the heart after doing so much things and went well. However later in the evening, things began to go not so right.
and he... "*sighzz* ya, i have come back to the reality of this world."

So in the afternoon i was so discouraged. but thank God, truly He did not leave me alone in those situations.

1) I went back to JW church to find my file from the reception and i found it!! PTL!
2) God showed me direction to print out the flyer. I called one of my member who is studying in NTU for help. She wasn't in school to print it for me, so i went to NTU myself and she directed me how to print it. So finally, got it printed! Thank God!

For the flyer thing, in my heart i said that i have given the responsibility to do something, so i must do it well and end off well. It really took me a lot of time in the afternoon to get all these things back on track. but after all, i was so relieved. So thank God, He was there to guide me! If not, i would not have end off well with the things that someone ask me to do. and it would be another "-1" of how responsible i am.

Praise God!

On friday, at the end of SOT lesson after we had done with prophesying to another.. i was so happy that i was lead by the spirit correctly to discern and prophesy over one of my team member. So i was worshipping and praising God, God spoke to me this... "With this, i'm showing you. Don't be discouraged by the things that you had failed doing it and made mistakes. but all these mistakes and failures, you will learn and so you will be able to do it right in the future."
Thank God.

Indeed God is my strength and Holy Spirit is my guidance. From problems of my family, the things they had done on me which i don't feel so good about it, my failures and weaknesses, my struggles. He always lead me so that i won't sin. There are times that i felt like fighting and defend for myself and rights, but i chose to honor them, my parents. When i felt sometimes their words hurt me, i chose to forgive them and lift it up to God.

Not by my own strength, but by His strength and grace. His grace is sufficient for my weaknesses.
It's not the how we start, but it's how we end!
PTL, although things doesn't start off well for me, but it had ended well.

:DD

{ 11:49:00 AM }

This week SOT was fun!
We have lots of practical to move in the HolySpirit...

We gave word of wisdom to one another.
We gave word of knowledge to one another.
We spoke in the gifts of tongues and had interpret the tongues.
We prophesy to one another. - we are being blindfolded.

:DD

{ 3:00:00 AM }

Romans 9:14-20
14 What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? Certainly not!
15 For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.”[a]
16 So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy.
17 For the Scripture says to the Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.”[b]
18 Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens.
19 You will say to me then, “Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?”
20 But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?”


God is the one to choose who to have mercy on and who not.. so it's not for us say.

For those who hurts us again and again,
learn to let go all to God and forgive..
not once or twice, but constantly.
because this is the only way that our soul can prosper.
who have never being hurt before?
no one!
it's impossible to do it by our own strength,
but we can do it if we choose to lean on God strength.
do not look to the left or to the right,
but focus our eyes on Him only.

but still constantly,
examine our own heart...
is our heart right?
our attitude right?
our motives right?
does we have pride?
God sees at our heart.
So what is in our heart is very important.

{ 2:02:00 AM }

Thursday, May 15, 2008.

Spirit of sicknessess and diseases, I BIND YOU IN JESUS NAME!!
i'm not sick, but many people around me are really really getting sick...

Btw, today afternoon we had pm with Mj.
my cg + chloe cg prayed with Mj.

yeah, our cg gonna merge soon.
a sudden news that we had last week,
that's why i said we will be moving to JW service.
Today, as i began to interact with the members of another cg,
indeed it's time that we have to step out of our comfort zone and be radical for God.

ultimate aim for this merge:
getting souls saved in marsiling secondary & grow the people in their life with God.

"... not by might nor by power, but by the Spirit of God."

{ 10:14:00 PM }

Wednesday, May 14, 2008.

苏打绿 - 陪我歌唱

夜晚的窗啊 轻轻拉著梦阳花
是你的味道掀起风浪
梦中的你啊 时时抓著我分享
把心的空洞填满温光

长长的街道 它在月光下扑闪
云末的星都装进行囊
切切的思念 悬在天涯上呼喊
不睡的鱼载著我出海

像你的心脏无法那么逞强
要装著自己扑通扑呀
朝你的方向能够乘著想象
让隐形的我在倾你身旁 睡得多香
睡得多香

夜晚的窗啊 轻轻拉著梦阳花
是你的味道掀起风浪
梦中的你啊 时时抓著我分享
把心的空洞填满温光

长长的街道 它在月光下扑闪
云末的星都装进行囊
切切的思念 悬在天涯上呼喊
不睡的鱼载著我出海海海海海

像你的心脏无法那么逞强
要装著自己扑通扑呀
朝你的方向能够乘著想象
让隐形的我在倾你身旁 睡得多香

像你的心脏无法那么逞强
要装著自己扑通扑呀
朝你的方向能够乘著想象
让隐形的我在倾你身旁 睡得多香
让隐形的你走进我梦乡 陪我歌唱

{ 12:57:00 AM }

Monday, May 12, 2008.

A brand new week,
a brand new day...
putting away all my tiredness,
once again, a new walk with God...
God refreshed me in the morning...
and His strength filled me.
:))

now, i want to learn to yield to Him even more
and be led by the Holy spirit.

Romans 8:13-15
13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”

Anyway, my cg is moving to SATURDAY, JURONG WEST Service this week onwards!!! happy and sad also... i love expo also! but can eat more ban mian at JW and have longer fellowship with cg!
:DD

next tuesday to friday it will be our mock cg.
12 rounds all together!!
i will be taking testimony, preaching, worship, and offering/vision sharing.
woooooo~

{ 4:00:00 PM }

Sunday, May 11, 2008.

Psalm 27:13-14 (NKJV)
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.
14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!


Psalm 73:25-27 (NKJV)
25 Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
26 My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27 For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.

My flesh is truly tired and my heart is failing...
my spirit needs strengthening...
Lord, i thirsts and yearns for more of YOU......

today, it was rather disappointing...
initially, i was excited that i thought i could meet them out once again after 2 weeks.
in the end out of the 6 people, 3 people PS last minute...
end up, the meeting was cancelled!!

:(

{ 11:31:00 AM }

Friday, May 09, 2008.

The 5th week of SOT is still great!!
Yes, we are still fighting against the flesh everyday.
but every ceilings, we are so gonna expand it!!
EXPANDING CAPACITY!!!
PRAY!!!

i am just so grateful for His love for me and my sins are forgiven.
thank you...

:DD

{ 4:10:00 PM }

Tuesday, May 06, 2008.

As i was browsing through some of my friends blogs, i saw some of them are really feeling so down... negative thoughts, emo...

Isaiah 40:30-31
"Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

In Him, i regained my strength. In Him, His love filled the emptiness in my heart. In Him, His promises take away every fears and doubts in my heart. At times when i feel down and difficult to move on, i thank God that He will come and fill my heart with His promises.

but it will only happen when we really learnt to remember Him and look to Him in every situation...

:))

{ 11:58:00 PM }

my goodness!!
i have to take extra round of mock cellgroup this week.
they randomly picked.
so i will be doing Testimony and Offering & Vision Sharing.

{ 1:47:00 AM }

Monday, May 05, 2008.

Hillsong - Magnificent
Who compares to You?
Who set the stars in their place?
You who calmed the raging seas
That came crashing over me

Who compares to You?
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in Your great love

You are magnificent, eternally
Wonderful, glorious
Jesus
No one ever will compare to You
Jesus

Where the evening fades
You call forth songs of joy
As the morning wakes
We Your children give You praise

I sang this song as i was worshiping God just now.
Singing that my God is really magnificent, eternally, wonderful, glorious...
I really love this song...
lyrics and melody are very simple,
that's why i like.
it's quite an old song...
:DD

{ 2:07:00 AM }

Sunday, May 04, 2008.

4TH WEEK OF SOT
i want to have a greater hunger for God.
more of God and just God alone.

Yesterday, sha discipled me about the hunger i need to have for God.
(discipling doesn't mean scolding... but is challenging my values...)
As a SOT student, i need to have not just an ordinary hunger like the normal members have, but a much much more hunger.
Don't be just a good Christian, but be hungry.
In everything i do and everywhere i go, i must want God to move.

This week my mind is overwhelmed by so many desires of my heart.
so overwhelmed that i forgot the hunger and the purpose.
It's good to have a x-ray heart check frequently.

And yea, this week i drifted slightly away from God.
feeling abit down and tired...
kept fighting against the thoughts by the devil.
I must get back!!
and be strong to fight against the devil!!
and have my heart right for God!!!
Lord, i pray that You will rearrange my heart again and again until it is right.

When i have said i want God to mould me and change me,
i could feel the pain when God's hands goes into my heart and in the process of rearranging it.
(imagine a doctor do a surgery or operation inside your body, it's pain...)
the pain of being discipled and i'm being revealed of my heart...
the pain of knowing what is really in my heart...
but still, i want to be open and willing for God to mould and change me.


Few days ago, God gave me this revelation...
That day while i was walking home, i began think that i really hope to do much bigger things for God but why i'm not given those things to do. Then God gave me this parable from the Bible...

14 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them.
15 And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey.
16 Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents.
17 And likewise he who had received two gained two more also.
18 But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord’s money.
19 After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them.
20 “So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, ‘Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.’
21 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
22 He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’
23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
24 “Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed.
25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’
26 “But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed.
27 So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest.
28 So take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.
29 ‘For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.
30 And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

So i have this revelation that it's about how we to use the talents and gifts that God has put in us and how faithful are we to do the best out of it. When we are faithful over the things that God has put in our hands, and it's fruitful and multiplying.. God will then say to us, "good and faithful servant" and appoint more things for us to do.

I have been thinking that i want to do this and that, but why i am not given the opportunity.. and why people is moving so fast and yet i feel i am moving slow. Self-doubt came to me. So God reminded me that i shouldn't keep thinking all these, but rather my hunger and faithfulness to do those which are given to me are more important.

And knowing my own capacity and ability for now, i have to really seek God even more, pray and ask for much greater capacity, ability and anointing, lean on Him so that i can be fruitful to do all i am doing now. like my ministry, shepherding my own connect grp members, growing my connect grp, etc... they are what God has put in my hands now. if i can't handle well and be fruitful over all these things, how can i handle much more.

My main burden:
my connect group and growing it.
i need to have more burden for souls,
and don't procrastinate to reach out to them.

:))

{ 7:16:00 PM }

Saturday, May 03, 2008.

it's just not so easy for this walk...
Therefore, that's why it's call the narrow way.

a seed to a tree,
yet in between the process,
there're so much things to deal with.

:D

{ 2:31:00 AM }

Friday, May 02, 2008.

i will be taking
Warmth (Testimony)
part for the mock cell group on next friday!

Building relationships is the key to growth in Cg...

{ 4:38:00 PM }