Sunday, August 30, 2009.

God.
Hold me tightly and never let me go.
even though sometimes my hands are aching and losing my grip,
even though sometimes i feel like giving up and let my hands go totally,
You grab me still.
You hold on to me,
pull me higher and higher to you.
my hands are weak, but yours are strong.

:)

{ 10:47:00 PM }

Wednesday, August 26, 2009.

what are we???
what we have been saying,
just plainly words.

simply needed a real best friend,
but where?
and a few real good friends.

:)

{ 11:43:00 PM }

Sunday, August 23, 2009.

i typed and typed and typed.
in the end, my laptop hung and all is gone.
zzzzzz

{ 6:25:00 PM }

Friday, August 21, 2009.

it has stucked in my throat for almost a week already...
zzzzzz
don't know what's that.

{ 12:15:00 AM }

Thursday, August 13, 2009.

my closest friends.
longing to hear from them.
longing to be there with them.

i'm really doubting.

{ 7:23:00 AM }

Monday, August 10, 2009.

NEEDS...

needed God's presence.
needed the Holy Spirit.
needed a long and tight hug.
needed qualty time with my close friends.
needed someone who understands.
needed someone who cares.
needed someone who will give in a little bit more patience.
needed someone who will want break open my heart.
needed confidence.
needed fruitfulness.
needed love.
needed financial breakthrough.
needed passion.
needed determination.
needed smile.

:)

{ 11:09:00 PM }

Sunday, August 09, 2009.

it's 3.40am...
really really tired......

my heart was so heavy for the whole day...

my members didn't turn up for service today...
yet i know i have not been teaching them and discipling them.
God says: make disciples...
i have been doing too much of the task instead of purpose.
i have not been helping them to love God more.
i am so so tired.
give me back that passion and love.

Sha talked to me.
what has been my struggles?
i couldn't answer....
too much struggles...
yet i forgot about the root of all my struggles.
now i remember.
i thought through, and right now still thinking through...
what to write to her.

Friendship.
this feeling is still lingering inside of me.
it just breaks my heart.
just feel so faraway from them,
despite all the encouragements from them.
it seems that they are much more closer now.
they are so dear to me.
i hate the feeling.
please go away!

On stage during worship,
tears fell so quickly.
i couldn't help it.
The worship at the last part of the service, i cried even more.
zzzzzz
seriously, ALOT...

probably, my heart is aching so much.
but not emo...
:))

{ 3:39:00 AM }

Thursday, August 06, 2009.

I just came back from zone opm. It was really fantastic. MJ laid hands on us at the last part of the pm and had holy laughter session. i went zzzzz somewhat at certain part... zzzzzzz! hahahaha! feel totally refresh... :D

Anw, this few days have been crazily working OT... not forced to, but i volunteered. last sat, i went back to work. I had worked until 11pm and 1130pm on monday and tuesday this week respectively. thur OT-ing also. sat, i will be going back. CHIONG!!!

It has been so much struggles in my heart recently. All the disappointments, insecurity and fears... about myself and friendship. i really hate it loads when emotions will just keep coming.

{ 4:38:00 AM }